Why the Stories We Tell Ourselves Matter for Our Health
Reviewed By Danielle Glesne, RDN, LD, CDCESWe all tell ourselves stories.
Some are about who we are. Some are about what we're capable of. And some are about what we believe is possible for our health.
The problem is that we don't always recognize these stories as stories. We often experience them as facts.
"I've always been the chubby girl."
"I have no willpower."
"I'm just addicted to food."
"If I eat that, I'll immediately gain five pounds."
"I'm too busy to eat healthy."
Over time, these statements can become part of our identity.
And once a belief becomes part of our identity, we tend to behave in ways that reinforce it.
That's why the stories you tell yourself matter.
Your Story Can Become a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Imagine someone who repeatedly tells herself:
"I'm terrible at sticking to a diet."
She starts a new nutrition plan. For a few days, everything goes well. Then she has pizza with her family.
Instead of thinking, "That was one meal; I'll get back to my routine tomorrow," she thinks:
"See? I knew I couldn't do this."
The story has been confirmed.
She may abandon the plan, overeat for the rest of the weekend, and eventually start another diet a few weeks later.
The problem wasn't necessarily the pizza.
The problem was the meaning she attached to the pizza.
This is why changing your health behaviors sometimes requires changing the narrative surrounding those behaviors.
1. "I've Always Been the Chubby Girl."
This is an identity statement.
You're not simply saying that you've struggled with your weight. You're saying this is who I am.
And if that's who you believe you are, changing your behavior can feel like becoming someone you're not.
Write a new story:
"I've struggled with my weight, but my past doesn't determine my future."
Your history is real.
But it isn't a prophecy.
You don't have to deny your past. You simply need to stop using it as evidence that change is impossible.
2. "I Have No Willpower."
Maybe you've tried diets before and struggled to stick with them.
But "I have no willpower" turns a behavior into an identity.
And it ignores the enormous influence of your environment, habits, routines, stress, sleep, food availability, and planning.
Write a new story:
"I don't need unlimited willpower. I need better systems."
Instead of asking, "How can I become more disciplined?"
Ask:
"How can I make the behavior I want easier to do?"
Keep nutritious food available.
Plan meals.
Remove unnecessary temptations from your environment.
Prepare food ahead of time.
Build routines that reduce the number of decisions you have to make.
You don't have to win a daily battle against yourself.
You can redesign the battlefield.
3. "I Want to Lose Weight, But I Just Love Food Too Much."
Loving food isn't a character flaw.
And you don't need to stop enjoying food to improve your nutrition.
In fact, if your weight-loss strategy requires you to eat foods you hate and eliminate everything you love, it's probably not going to be sustainable.
Write a new story:
"I can love food and still learn to eat in a way that supports my goals."
Enjoyment and nutrition aren't mutually exclusive.
You can enjoy a great meal.
You can eat dessert.
You can go to restaurants.
You can travel.
And you can still build the majority of your diet around nutritious foods.
The goal isn't to love food less. It's to become better at balancing enjoyment with your goals.
4. "If I Eat That, I'll Immediately Gain Five Pounds."
This is an example of catastrophizing.
You eat something you consider "bad," step on the scale the next morning, see a higher number, and assume you've gained body fat.
But body weight fluctuates for many reasons, including water, glycogen, sodium, food volume, hormones, and bowel contents.
A short-term increase on the scale doesn't necessarily represent an increase in body fat.
Write a new story:
"One meal doesn't determine my body composition."
Zoom out.
Look at trends over weeks rather than reacting emotionally to individual weigh-ins.
And remember:
You don't need to fear food to manage your weight.
5. "I've Tried Everything."
If you've attempted diet after diet for years, it's understandable that you might feel this way.
But often, what someone has tried is actually a long list of short-term interventions rather than a sustainable lifestyle.
Write a new story:
"I haven't failed at every possible approach. I haven't found the approach I can sustain yet."
Maybe the answer isn't a more aggressive diet.
Maybe it's a simpler one.
Maybe you need fewer rules.
Maybe you need better planning.
Maybe you need to focus on consistency rather than intensity.
Stop asking, "What diet haven't I tried?" and start asking, "What could I realistically do for the next five years?"
6. "I'm Too Busy to Eat Healthy."
You may genuinely be busy.
Work is demanding. Kids have activities. Life happens.
But sometimes "I'm too busy" becomes shorthand for:
"Healthy eating requires more time than I'm willing or able to give it."
That's a different problem—and potentially a solvable one.
Write a new story:
"I can find simple ways to eat better, even when life is busy."
Healthy eating doesn't require elaborate recipes.
It can be a rotisserie chicken, frozen vegetables, fruit, Greek yogurt, oatmeal, eggs, a sandwich, or a simple grain bowl.
You don't need to cook everything from scratch.
Make healthy eating convenient enough to survive your busiest days.
7. "I'm Starting Monday."
Monday becomes a magical day.
The day you'll finally get serious.
Until then, you might as well enjoy yourself.
Then Monday arrives, life happens, and the cycle repeats.
Write a new story:
"I don't need a perfect starting point. I can make my next decision a better one."
You don't need to wait for Monday.
You don't need to wait until after vacation.
You don't need to wait until the holidays are over.
Your next meal is always an opportunity to begin again.
8. "I Always Mess Up When I Go Out to Eat."
Restaurants aren't inherently incompatible with healthy eating.
The problem is believing that eating at a restaurant requires abandoning your goals.
Write a new story:
"I can enjoy restaurants while making choices that support my goals."
You can choose a protein-rich entrée.
You can order vegetables.
You can stop eating when you're satisfied.
You can share dessert.
You can eat the fries.
You can enjoy yourself.
Healthy eating doesn't require you to stop living your life.
9. "I've Already Blown It, So I Might as Well Keep Eating."
This is the classic all-or-nothing mindset.
One cookie becomes the whole package.
One indulgent meal becomes an indulgent weekend.
One missed workout becomes a week off.
Write a new story:
"One choice doesn't determine my next choice."
You don't have to compensate.
You don't have to starve yourself tomorrow.
You don't have to wait until Monday.
Just return to your normal routine at the next opportunity.
Progress isn't about never getting off track. It's about getting back on track quickly.
10. "I'm Just Getting Older. This Is What Happens."
Age does affect the body.
But "I'm getting older" can become an explanation for giving up.
You may have less muscle mass than you did when you were 25. Your activity level may have changed. Your responsibilities may be different.
But aging doesn't mean you are powerless.
Write a new story:
"My body is changing, but I can still influence how I age."
You can strength train.
You can eat enough protein.
You can prioritize sleep.
You can maintain cardiovascular fitness.
You can eat a nutritious diet.
You can't control every aspect of aging.
But you can influence how you respond to it.
11. "Healthy Eating Is Too Expensive."
Some nutritious foods can be expensive.
But healthy eating doesn't require expensive supplements, organic everything, or specialty health foods.
Beans, oats, eggs, potatoes, frozen vegetables, fruit, canned seafood, whole grains, and other simple foods can form the foundation of a nutritious diet.
Write a new story:
"I can eat better without spending a fortune."
Instead of asking what healthy food costs, ask:
"How can I build the healthiest diet I can with the budget I have?"
That's a problem you can solve.
12. "I've Never Been an Active Person."
Maybe you've never been athletic.
Maybe you hated gym class.
Maybe exercise has never been part of your identity.
But your past relationship with exercise doesn't determine your future relationship with movement.
Write a new story:
"I'm becoming someone who takes care of their body through movement."
You don't have to become a marathon runner.
Start walking.
Lift weights.
Ride a bike.
Play a sport.
Go swimming.
Find something you enjoy.
You don't need to identify as an athlete to become more active.
13. "I Don't Have Time to Exercise."
You might not have an hour every day.
But exercise doesn't have to be all-or-nothing either.
Thirty minutes is useful.
Twenty minutes is useful.
Ten minutes is useful.
Write a new story:
"I can make movement part of my life, even when I don't have much time."
Walk during a phone call.
Take the stairs.
Lift weights three times a week.
Go for a short walk after dinner.
You don't need the perfect workout.
You need a habit you can actually repeat.
14. "This Is Just Who I Am."
This might be the most limiting story of all.
"I'm a snacker."
"I'm lazy."
"I'm not disciplined."
"I'm a stress eater."
"I'm terrible at cooking."
"I'm not a healthy person."
These statements sound harmless because they're familiar.
But identity-based stories can become incredibly powerful.
Write a new story:
Instead of saying "I am...", try saying:
"I am becoming..."
"I'm becoming someone who prioritizes their health."
"I'm becoming someone who eats nutritious food."
"I'm becoming someone who exercises regularly."
"I'm becoming someone who keeps promises to myself."
That subtle shift changes the focus from identity as a fixed trait to identity as something you're building.
Your Story Doesn't Have to Be Positive All the Time
There's an important distinction here.
Changing your story doesn't mean pretending everything is wonderful.
You don't need to tell yourself:
"Losing weight is easy!"
if it isn't.
You don't need to convince yourself:
"I love exercising!"
if you don't.
And you don't need to ignore legitimate obstacles.
Instead, try to make your story accurate, constructive, and empowering.
Instead of:
"This is impossible."
Try:
"This is difficult, but I can work on one part of it."
Instead of:
"I'm terrible at this."
Try:
"I'm still learning how to do this consistently."
Instead of:
"I've failed."
Try:
"That approach didn't work for me. What can I learn from it?"
That's not toxic positivity.
It's a more useful interpretation of reality.
How to Rewrite Your Story
Start by paying attention to the things you repeatedly say about yourself.
When you catch yourself saying:
"I always..."
"I never..."
"I'm just..."
"I can't..."
"That's just how I am..."
Stop.
Ask yourself:
Is this actually a fact?
Or is it a conclusion you've drawn from your past experiences?
Is this story helping me?
If believing something makes you less likely to take action, it's worth examining.
What would a more accurate story sound like?
Don't replace it with something unrealistic.
Replace it with something that is true and useful.
What action would someone with this new story take?
Then take that action.
Because the goal isn't simply to think differently.
The goal is to create new evidence.
If you've always told yourself you're "not disciplined," start keeping small promises to yourself.
If you've always said you're "bad at eating healthy," prepare one nutritious meal today.
If you've always said you're "not an active person," take a 10-minute walk.
Every time you act differently, you're creating evidence for a new story.
And eventually, that story can become your new identity.
The Bottom Line
The stories we tell ourselves aren't always facts.
Sometimes they're interpretations we've repeated so many times that we've forgotten we created them.
"I've always been the chubby girl."
"I have no willpower."
"I love food too much."
"I'm too busy."
"I've tried everything."
These stories may describe where you've been.
They don't have to determine where you're going.
You don't need to invent a completely different version of yourself.
You simply need to start telling a more accurate story:
I have struggled before, but I can learn.
I don't have to be perfect to make progress.
I can make healthier choices without giving up the things I enjoy.
I can take care of myself even when life is difficult.
I am becoming the person who does the things necessary to live the life I want.
Because sometimes the first step toward changing your health isn't changing what you eat.
It's changing the story you believe about who you are.
If you’d like personalized guidance on what this means for you and your family, don’t hesitate to CONTACT US.
We’re here to help.
